twenty thoughts from my twenties

Today I enter a new decade, and, to be honest, I am HAPPY to say goodbye to my twenties.  They were memorable, ridiculous, hard, confusing, embarrassing, scary, exciting and boy were they eventful.  In my twenties, I graduated college, got married, we purchased our first home and we welcomed our perfect little girl into this world.  Why would I want to say goodbye to all of that?!  Not goodbye… but it can only get better from here I’ve been thinking loooong and hard about these, so here we go:

1 – Save more, but don’t be cheap; there is a difference.  I have always been a generous person and that stems from my upbringing; my parents are some of the most generous people I have ever known… with my Dad at the very top of that list.   Saving is so important, and I stand by this.  However, I also know so many people who are cheap.  We all know the type… who would never buy drinks, coffee, etc.  Being cheap is never a good look.  People remember generosity; strive for it.

2 – Learn about money and investments.  Find someone who is knowledgeable about 401K’s, Roth IRA’S, retirement plans, etc. and pick their brains.  Someday you will have money and you will want to know what to do with it.  Someday you will work for a company or organization that will offer one or more of these things and you will want to know what they are talking about during your introductory meetings; knowledge is power.  As for me, if you want to know about beanie baby investments … I am your girl.  Because I will get my money back on these bad boys.  Otherwise, don’t look to me for help with this one.

3 – Vanity is inevitable.  I’ve debated about adding this one, but it’s true.  I’m not going to say “life is easier for pretty people,” but my extremely pretty friends got drinks paid for them a lot, and got served at the bar way quicker than I ever did.  Lesson? I chose to come out of my shell and let my personality shine and not give a crap.  I realized it, and moved on.  But, it will show it’s face in many different facets of life.  Shake it off, move on.

4 – Learn relaxation techniques.  Learn how to deep breathe, meditate, practice yoga, etc.; practice ways that let your body release tension or you will be in a world of hurt (in more ways than one).

5 – Connect with children in some way.  In college I started working with toddlers and preschoolers and it changed my life in the biggest way.  When you work with children, you are able to immediately be transported into their minds and their worlds; to look at things more sweetly and simply during a time in your life that can be really heavy. Whether or not you are going to have your own children in your twenties or ever, connect with children in one way or another.  It will change you.

6 – Travel, duh.. it’s on every list.  Whether it is flying to Bali, or road trip to Wisconsin, make more time to travel to new places; get out of your familiar bubble.  We learn from venturing to places we have never been, talking to local people, eating cuisines, sleeping in unfamiliar places and being with people we love in uncharted territory.  Whether you have thousands of dollars or a couple hundred, leave your four walls and head somewhere new.

7 – Find faith.  I am a Christian and I have a lot of faith; faith that has gotten me through some dark, scary days.  I don’t care if you pray to God, Allah, Buddha, Jesus Christ, earth, angels, etc.  Finding faith will change your outlook on life and and help you live with purpose.

8 – Learn about health insurance.  For the love of man, will someone tell colleges and universities that they need to teach us about health insurance WHILE we are IN college?!?  If i’m not majoring in English Lit, you’d think I could skip that class and learn about health insurance!  Because I am still calling my Mom to help me understand.  Copays, deductibles, out of pocket maximums, in-network … I’m having hot sweats typing this.. !

9 – Take care of your skin. Never, ever, ever, put even your finger in a tanning bed.  Being pale is ok, and everyone looks ridiculous at some point trying bad self-tanners (but there are amazing ones out there – another day, another post!)  Skin cancer is real and getting scary skin spots removed is not worth being tan.

10. – Timing never seems right.  Hear me out:  When my husband and I talk about big decisions we say “it’s not the right time” a lot.  Probably 95% of the time, we stick by that statement and we are confident in the fact that it really isn’t the right time.  But, i’ve come to realize that it’s never the right time for babies, marriage, pets, houses, vacations, sex (had to), job changes, new cars, etc. and sometimes you have to just go for it.

11. – Speak your mind.  You can always be kind and well spoken in what you want to say, but you don’t need to sit back and just listen to people say things when you don’t agree, or let people talk down to you.  Speak up, buttercup.

12. – Drink more water.  Yep, cliche but true.  You’ll feel better, and you know you will.. we all hear it and 95% of us ignore it, so ignore me too 

13. – Do truly random acts of kindness.  My favorite way to do this is in a coffee drive-thru – pay for your drink and pay for the next person as well.  They cannot say no, they cannot say thank you, and you can’t even see their reaction.  You will truly make their day.

14. – Invest is your friend’s family.  I truly believe you will have a much deeper and more meaningful friendship if you take the time to get to know all your close your friends family; their parents, siblings, etc.  It’s comforting to know that if I ever was feeling lonely, I know ALL of my friend’s families would open their homes to me in a heartbeat.

15. – Learn to truly forgive.  In my early twenties I know I would use the word “hate” about a few people in my past.  I am not proud of it, but it’s true.  I believe maturity  mixed with my belief in something greater has completely changed that.  Now, I can’t think of one person I even dislike, and that is a truly freeing feeling.

16. – Stay up to date on current events and politics.  This is something now that I actually enjoy doing, but earlier in my twenties I didn’t do as much.  It’s so important.

17. – Smile and say hi to strangers.  It’s so humbling to know the impact this could have on their day.

18. – Learn how to properly tip.  This is definitely something that not everyone will agree with, but servers deserve more than 15%.  My generous Dad has taught me to tip extremely well.  I hardly ever tip below twenty percent, but it’s situational.  If you’re eating out on a holiday, c’mon… tip more.  Like I’ve said above, cheap is not a good look.  Also, I don’t know if people are clueless or choose to be clueless but housekeeping people at hotels should be tipped.  I’ve come across so many people that “didn’t know” that.  We all work hard, and we deserve to be compensated.

19. – Learn how to be alone.  I have always enjoyed my alone time, but it wasn’t until the  latter years of my twenties that I was able to be truly happy in many different facets of being alone; I love going out to eat alone, having the house to myself for a night or two and shopping alone is my preferred way.

20. – Let go of preconceived ideas of what your life should look like.  I find myself hoping for pictures on holidays or birthdays that look like something far from what we ever get.  Not only pictures, but I wish my house jumped out of Pinterest.  Our kitchen table is filled with bills, toys, coffee mugs, car keys and the most random things ever (bras – not because we are getting wild but because it’s the first thing I take off).  Our couch doesn’t have cute throw pillows because they’d be covered in weird things that I’d have to smell to deceifer.  Our kitchen counter is granite, but you’d never, ever know.  My life is pretty perfect, though.  And I have a some non-Pinterest worthy pictures to show for it.